When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says:
"If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number.
When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
My NEICE Casey needs.....
to be taking Siberian Ginseng with Ginko Biloba so she can REMEMBER to take her purse OUT of the restaurant!
We go to dinner at O' Charlie's. She carries her purse into the restaurant....
We then go to PetsMart to get Dog food which is in the SAME parking lot. They walk around PetsMart. We leave.
We get 1 1/2 miles up the road, THEN her brain magically wakes up and she tells me that she THINKS she left her purse in O' Charlie's....
So, I have to TURN AROUND......AGAIN.......
Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.......
We go to dinner at O' Charlie's. She carries her purse into the restaurant....
We then go to PetsMart to get Dog food which is in the SAME parking lot. They walk around PetsMart. We leave.
We get 1 1/2 miles up the road, THEN her brain magically wakes up and she tells me that she THINKS she left her purse in O' Charlie's....
So, I have to TURN AROUND......AGAIN.......
Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.......
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Can I borrow $25?
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: ' If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often the man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh,thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,'the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: ' If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often the man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh,thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,'the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
God is STILL in the HEALING Business!
I posted this on my MySpace Blog - People have been asking, so here goes....
My dear friend Miranda got me to thinking. What was the year 2007 to me?
Well, it all started in January 2007 (No pun intended). I hated my job, I couldn't stand going to work. I had blood pressure problems, the stress of work was killing me quickly. So, I cried out to God. And, as always, He provided a way out for me.
My boss had just chewed another Supervisor and I out again for something that was his fault. That was it for me, I had to find a new Job. As I was sitting in the Armored Van, driving a route again because others didn't show up for work, my cell phone rang. It was my Friend from Diebold. He asked me if I was still interested in working for them. I said sure! Then, he told me that I would have to take a paycut from what I was making. I asked him what I needed to do. That evening, I went to his place of employment and met his supervisor. I filled out all the paperwork. Then waited, waited, and waited some more. I finally called to see what was happening. The boss said they hadn't heard anything yet.
On Thursday Feb 8th, I was at work and my chest began to tighten to the point that I couldn't breathe. I went and told my Boss that I was going to the hospital, that I was having severe chest pains. I made it home and told my Niece to call 9-1-1. The ambulance arrived and took me to McGuire Veterans Hospital. The Paramedic, put me on an IV and gave me Nitro pills to calm me down. He said it looked like I was having a Blood Pressure episode. All I knew is I was wigged out!
At the Hospital, they ran numerous tests. I had not had a Heart Attack, but my Pulse, Blood Pressure and Blood Sugar were still way too high for me to go home. They scheduled me for testing the next morning for a Cardiac Stress Test to see if they could figure out what happened.
As I sat in the Wheelchair, the 700 Club TV Show came on. I watched, couldn't do anything else, so I watched. When they got to the prayers for the sick portion, I bowed my head and prayed with them. THEN!!! The guy on TV said, "There's someone watching right now, you're having an issue with your chest. Take in a deep breath because God has just healed you!"
I took in a deep breath, I felt the Spirit enter at the top of my head and whoosh thru my body at lightning speed and out thru the bottom of my feet. I could immediately breathe fully and without pain. When they did the test, they COULD NOT get my pulse over 120, nor my blood pressure over 110/70 or my blood sugar higher than 90. God had indeed healed me as was said!
I was sent home that day. On Sunday, I received the phone call that my position with Diebold had been approved and when could I start. I turned in my 2 weeks notice on Feb 12th and never looked back.
Yes, I had to take a pay cut from almost $14 per hour to $12 per hour. But I got a company car, which slashed my personal expenses and totally made up for the pay cut. But, God wasn't finished yet. A few days later, I got a letter from the VA. Because I had an episode involving my Heart, My disability rating was changed, I was now rated at 50% instead of 40%. That increased my monthly income by over $1000. Wow! God is good!
There were many more good things in 2007. The joy I got by giving special presents to people who never expected them. And the blessings that God bestowed upon me all year.
I know 2008 will be a better year than 2007!
May God richly bless you in the coming year!
Now, it's your turn.....What did God do for you???
My dear friend Miranda got me to thinking. What was the year 2007 to me?
Well, it all started in January 2007 (No pun intended). I hated my job, I couldn't stand going to work. I had blood pressure problems, the stress of work was killing me quickly. So, I cried out to God. And, as always, He provided a way out for me.
My boss had just chewed another Supervisor and I out again for something that was his fault. That was it for me, I had to find a new Job. As I was sitting in the Armored Van, driving a route again because others didn't show up for work, my cell phone rang. It was my Friend from Diebold. He asked me if I was still interested in working for them. I said sure! Then, he told me that I would have to take a paycut from what I was making. I asked him what I needed to do. That evening, I went to his place of employment and met his supervisor. I filled out all the paperwork. Then waited, waited, and waited some more. I finally called to see what was happening. The boss said they hadn't heard anything yet.
On Thursday Feb 8th, I was at work and my chest began to tighten to the point that I couldn't breathe. I went and told my Boss that I was going to the hospital, that I was having severe chest pains. I made it home and told my Niece to call 9-1-1. The ambulance arrived and took me to McGuire Veterans Hospital. The Paramedic, put me on an IV and gave me Nitro pills to calm me down. He said it looked like I was having a Blood Pressure episode. All I knew is I was wigged out!
At the Hospital, they ran numerous tests. I had not had a Heart Attack, but my Pulse, Blood Pressure and Blood Sugar were still way too high for me to go home. They scheduled me for testing the next morning for a Cardiac Stress Test to see if they could figure out what happened.
As I sat in the Wheelchair, the 700 Club TV Show came on. I watched, couldn't do anything else, so I watched. When they got to the prayers for the sick portion, I bowed my head and prayed with them. THEN!!! The guy on TV said, "There's someone watching right now, you're having an issue with your chest. Take in a deep breath because God has just healed you!"
I took in a deep breath, I felt the Spirit enter at the top of my head and whoosh thru my body at lightning speed and out thru the bottom of my feet. I could immediately breathe fully and without pain. When they did the test, they COULD NOT get my pulse over 120, nor my blood pressure over 110/70 or my blood sugar higher than 90. God had indeed healed me as was said!
I was sent home that day. On Sunday, I received the phone call that my position with Diebold had been approved and when could I start. I turned in my 2 weeks notice on Feb 12th and never looked back.
Yes, I had to take a pay cut from almost $14 per hour to $12 per hour. But I got a company car, which slashed my personal expenses and totally made up for the pay cut. But, God wasn't finished yet. A few days later, I got a letter from the VA. Because I had an episode involving my Heart, My disability rating was changed, I was now rated at 50% instead of 40%. That increased my monthly income by over $1000. Wow! God is good!
There were many more good things in 2007. The joy I got by giving special presents to people who never expected them. And the blessings that God bestowed upon me all year.
I know 2008 will be a better year than 2007!
May God richly bless you in the coming year!
Now, it's your turn.....What did God do for you???
Saturday, February 14, 2009
It can only happen at Wal-Mart
Saw this online and thought it was funny enough to share....
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at WalMart for my 4 dogs...
I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think... that I had an elephant?!?!
Since I had little else to do; on impulse, I told her no I didn't have a dog, that I was starting the Purina diet again; although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat 1 or 2 every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me? I told her no, I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!!
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Life goes on here on Courthouse Road
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at WalMart for my 4 dogs...
I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think... that I had an elephant?!?!
Since I had little else to do; on impulse, I told her no I didn't have a dog, that I was starting the Purina diet again; although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat 1 or 2 every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me? I told her no, I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!!
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Life goes on here on Courthouse Road
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