Sunday, December 13, 2009

Life is Explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, have sex, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, and enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, have sex, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.

Friday, December 11, 2009

What do YOU call it?

I was at a bank today and upon leaving, they all said "Happy Holidays!" I said Merry Christmas! and they all went shhhhhhsh!

I said the following:

"I am 1000% CHRISTIAN! It's MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME, it's ALWAYS been Merry Christmas and it will always BE Merry Christmas to ME! I don't get offended when you call it something else. If you can't handle someone calling it Merry Christmas, then don't listen!"

I then walked out. Turns out that one of the employees is of another culture. Well, TOUGH! It's still and always will be MERRY CHRISTMAS to me.

This is a FREE country, you can always LEAVE anytime you like!



Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck The Hall and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and..................

Paranoid --- Santa Clause is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent Night, Holy ooooh look at the Froggy - can I have a Chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, ...........................

Friday, November 27, 2009

What are YOU THANKFUL for???

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out watching Extreme Make Over Home Edition on CMT. They built a home for a Marine that almost lost his life. His wife left him with four kids to raise. Seeing him get a home he deserved made me thankful for everything I have. So to my Brothers and Sisters in the


I say THANK YOU. I served for 21 years. I'd do it again and again!


Monday, November 23, 2009

Where's YOUR car?

My Neice Casey walks into my house and asks me "Where's your car?"

THEN she realizes that SHE was driving MY CAR!

There's got to be BLONDE roots there somewhere!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Rd!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

To FLASH or not to FLASH....

So you're driving down the road and you come across the local Police Running a Speed Enforcement Campaign. Do you?

1. FLASH your headlights to warn others?
2. Keep obeying the Law and let them do their Job?

If you answered #1, consider this:

A. What if the Driver you just flashed to "Warn" had just killed their spouse, or someone else?
B. What if they had just Robbed a Bank?
C. What if they just Raped your Wife or Girlfriend or somone else?
D. Or any other reason they might be wanted.....

YOU, by FLASHING your headlights, just helped them to escape!

Gives you something to think about......

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What happens when you WRITE-IN a vote?

My Niece has been working Elections for quite some time now. I'm amazed at the IGNORANCE of some people. People today voted for:

Brittany Spears
Tim Cain (Yes, they spelled it wrong)
Anybody D
Anybody Democrete (Another Misspelling)
Mickey Mouse
Casper the Ghost
Anybody Democrat
Anyone Democrat

This guy comes in, grabs a ballot, writes in Casper the Ghost, goes to the machine and announces

"I didn't really want to vote today, so I wrote down Casper the Ghost" Well then, STAY AT HOME!

What the heck is WRONG with people. STAY HOME!

All of those listed above had to be counted. Sad thing is, they DON'T COUNT!

People fought hard for Women and Blacks to win the RIGHT to vote in this Country. And you have the GALL to write in Casper the Ghost!

No wonder this Country is in the shape it's in.

Notice that most of these are DEMOCRATS!  Just sayin....


Vote Wisely and correctly or KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Unique Concept

I did a recent Study about my Niece Sarah. This is the conclusion. It's a list of Restaurants and what she orders.....

1. McDonalds = CHICKEN Nuggets
2. Burger King = Original CHICKEN Sandwich
3. Wendy's = CHICKEN Nuggets
4. KFC = CHICKEN Breast (Although she only eats 1/4 of it)
5. Hardees = CHICKEN Breast (Yep only 1/4 again)
6. Popeye's = CHICKEN Breast (Yep again, 1/4)
7. Captain D's = CHICKEN Tenders
8. Long John Silver's = CHICKEN Planks (Which are in effect, Tenders)
9. Red Robin = CLUCKS and Fries (Yep, you got it - CHICKEN Tenders)
10. Denny's = CHICKEN Tenders
11. Olive Garden = CHICKEN Tenders or Cheese Ravioli
12. Cracker Barrel = CHICKEN Tenders

Twelve DIFFERENT restaurants covering a VAST menu selection and yet, only one item EVER ordered...

Hmmmmmm, makes you wonder!

I do notice that my Chickens seem to talk to her when she walks outside....

Yep, Life goes on here on Courthouse Rd....

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Grab a Tissue and read this....

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE!!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did.

The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket. When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?"

She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?" Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day today.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

Please share this... Sometimes we just take things for granted, when we really need to be sharing what we know.


The NEW STUD Rooster

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance old man. So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dang it!...third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story....Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -  old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

Church Fueds

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing; "I Shall Not Be Moved."

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, "Jesus Paid It All."

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was "I Love To Tell The Story."

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang "Oh, Why Not Tonight."

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, "What A Friend We Have in Jesus."

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

What do you get at Pizza Hut?

So, I take a High School friend to dinner this evening. I invited my Niece Casey and her boyfriend to come along. While we are there, Sarah my other Niece calls and asks where we are at. Casey tells her that we are at Pizza Hut getting something to eat.

Sarah asked, "What do you get there, FOOD????"

There is NO WAY to answer that question without shaking your head......

Life goes on here on Courthouse Rd.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

When Grandma Goes to Court

Grandma goes to court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Can Scientists REALLY tell you how old something is?

Some will tell you yes. But let's examine this closer.

I can prove, yes PROVE to you that the Earth is only 114 years old using a known Scientific Formula!

What?!? We ALL know that the Earth is way older than that! But, the formula will PROVE the Earth is only 114 years old! How can this be?

Here's the formula:

1. Take all the minerals in the oceans today
2. Factor in the rate at which the rivers and streams deliver these minerals to the oceans.

Put these numbers into a computer and you'll prove the Earth is only 114 years old! BUT!!! - put the SAME formula back into the computer a SECOND time. Don't change anything and you will get a figure PROVING that the Earth is BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of years old!

So what's this flawed formula?


That's right! So when they tell you something is Billions of years old, know that the formula supporting their figure is flawed!

Want more proof?

Ok, here goes:

In Amelia County Virginia in the late 1970s, a farmer walked up on one of his Milk Cows that had died. He waited 6 months, then when nothing was left but the bones, he mixed up the bones and then he called in the local Scientists. They came out and CARBONDATED the bones..."Oh it's the greatest Archelogical Find Ever! BILLIONS of years old!" they told him.

The farmer just laughed and said, "You Scientists think you know everything! This is just one of my Milk Cows that died 6 MONTHS ago and here's the photos of the decay process to prove it!"

I wish I still had the newpaper article that told this story. But you see my point.

So believe Scientists if you want, I choose to believe facts....

Monday, August 3, 2009

Do you have MASSAGE Seats?

I took my Niece Casey and her Boyfriend Jerry to Lunch today. On the way home, Casey was massaging Jerry's Neck...

He said "I gotta get one of these Massage Seats for my car".

I said "Yeah, it was an extra on this one."

Casey says, "Do you REALLY have Massage Seats?"

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road......

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Here's your sign.....

I come in the house and I hear the Hair Dryer running and my Niece Sarah saying "This is NOT what I needed today."

Seems earlier, that Casey decided to test the Water and Electronics theory by dropping the hair Dryer in the Toilet. The Hair Dryer still works......Sarah drops a TAPE RECORDER in the toilet in next. A trip to Staples and a new recorder fix that one.


As we're sitting here listening to Sarah peck away on the keyboard, the rest of us are watching Dr. G. Medical Examiner....Dr. G is doing an AUTOPSY on a 3-year old boy. Casey, looks at me and says....

"He died, right?"

Her Boyfriend said, no, he wanted to have his insides examined to see how he was GOING TO die......"Here's your sign!"

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.........

Sunday, May 10, 2009

So my Niece, Casey FINALLY got her Driver's License


She drives herself to work today for the very first time. So, after she gets off work, she meets her boyfriend at the Olive Garden for dinner.

They have dinner, upon leaving, the boyfriend turns onto Midlothian Turnpike, heads west and arrives home about 10 minutes later. He had told Casey he was going straight home but he came here instead.

Casey goes to the traffic light, makes a U-Turn and heads EAST on Midlothian. She drives all the way down to Providence Road, then decides since it was dark and supposed to rain that taking Providence Road wasn't such a good idea. Now, Turner Road is only 3 blocks away, a divided 4 lane highway that leads right to Hull Street and a safe drive home. Does she take it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She turns around and drives 8.5 miles back up Midlothian to Courthouse Road and proceeds to drive her Mom's car up to the house.

So, we're thinking about buying her a GPS, but then that would mean she'd have to KNOW how to use it.

So I guess we'll just alert the local authorities that she's on the streets.

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I am trying to figure out HOW....

TWO SETS of LIPS (2 MOUTHS) can have 6 DIRTY PLATES some with FOOD left on them.
ELEVEN glasses WITH liquid in them.
FOUR Saucers because we were OUT of plates.
SEVEN Coffee Mugs, because we were OUT of drinking glasses.....

It takes less than ONE MINUTE to reach the EMPTY dishwasher!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.....

Saturday, April 18, 2009

So I was trying to figure out HOW Strawberry Cheesecake got all over my Refridgerator.....

I noticed Casey and her Boyfriend enjoying my Strawberry Cheescake earlier. THEN I saw it! She used a STEAK KNIFE to cut the slices of cheesecake! Yes, a STEAK KNIFE! You know those SHARP knives that cut COMPLETELY THROUGH pie plates! So, the HOLE left in the pie plate allowed the Strawberry Topping to drip all over the bottom of my fridge!

So, after I kill her, yaw'll can come to the memorial service! I have 4000 dull knives and she USES A STEAK KNIFE!!!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

WHY did Jesus FOLD the Napkin?

This is one I can honestly say I have never seen circulating in the e-mails so; I'll start it, if it touches you and you want to forward it.

Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? I never noticed this....

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.

The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.

Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'

Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stopped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.

Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it really significant? Yes!

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every
Jewish boy knew this tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.

The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table..

The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because..........

The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!'

He is Coming Back!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Winter Storm? Ha!

I mean no offense to any of my Friends here on Facebook....

But what we are experiencing here in Virginia is NOT a winter storm. 2-3 inches is a dusting. But try to get a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread from Walmart and you'd think all the roads are closed, have been closed for a week and are going to be closed for another month!

Come on people! It's gonna be gone on Tuesday.....

When I lived in New York we'd get 2-3 FEET at a time and we just went about business as usual...

Again, no offense meant to anyone, just

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Gambling Problem.....

When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says:

"If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number.

When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

Friday, February 27, 2009

My NEICE Casey needs.....

to be taking Siberian Ginseng with Ginko Biloba so she can REMEMBER to take her purse OUT of the restaurant!

We go to dinner at O' Charlie's. She carries her purse into the restaurant....

We then go to PetsMart to get Dog food which is in the SAME parking lot. They walk around PetsMart. We leave.

We get 1 1/2 miles up the road, THEN her brain magically wakes up and she tells me that she THINKS she left her purse in O' Charlie's....

So, I have to TURN AROUND......AGAIN.......

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road.......

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Can I borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: ' If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often the man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh,thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,'the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

God is STILL in the HEALING Business!

I posted this on my MySpace Blog - People have been asking, so here goes....

My dear friend Miranda got me to thinking. What was the year 2007 to me?

Well, it all started in January 2007 (No pun intended). I hated my job, I couldn't stand going to work. I had blood pressure problems, the stress of work was killing me quickly. So, I cried out to God. And, as always, He provided a way out for me.

My boss had just chewed another Supervisor and I out again for something that was his fault. That was it for me, I had to find a new Job. As I was sitting in the Armored Van, driving a route again because others didn't show up for work, my cell phone rang. It was my Friend from Diebold. He asked me if I was still interested in working for them. I said sure! Then, he told me that I would have to take a paycut from what I was making. I asked him what I needed to do. That evening, I went to his place of employment and met his supervisor. I filled out all the paperwork. Then waited, waited, and waited some more. I finally called to see what was happening. The boss said they hadn't heard anything yet.

On Thursday Feb 8th, I was at work and my chest began to tighten to the point that I couldn't breathe. I went and told my Boss that I was going to the hospital, that I was having severe chest pains. I made it home and told my Niece to call 9-1-1. The ambulance arrived and took me to McGuire Veterans Hospital. The Paramedic, put me on an IV and gave me Nitro pills to calm me down. He said it looked like I was having a Blood Pressure episode. All I knew is I was wigged out!

At the Hospital, they ran numerous tests. I had not had a Heart Attack, but my Pulse, Blood Pressure and Blood Sugar were still way too high for me to go home. They scheduled me for testing the next morning for a Cardiac Stress Test to see if they could figure out what happened.

As I sat in the Wheelchair, the 700 Club TV Show came on. I watched, couldn't do anything else, so I watched. When they got to the prayers for the sick portion, I bowed my head and prayed with them. THEN!!! The guy on TV said, "There's someone watching right now, you're having an issue with your chest. Take in a deep breath because God has just healed you!"

I took in a deep breath, I felt the Spirit enter at the top of my head and whoosh thru my body at lightning speed and out thru the bottom of my feet. I could immediately breathe fully and without pain. When they did the test, they COULD NOT get my pulse over 120, nor my blood pressure over 110/70 or my blood sugar higher than 90. God had indeed healed me as was said!

I was sent home that day. On Sunday, I received the phone call that my position with Diebold had been approved and when could I start. I turned in my 2 weeks notice on Feb 12th and never looked back.

Yes, I had to take a pay cut from almost $14 per hour to $12 per hour. But I got a company car, which slashed my personal expenses and totally made up for the pay cut. But, God wasn't finished yet. A few days later, I got a letter from the VA. Because I had an episode involving my Heart, My disability rating was changed, I was now rated at 50% instead of 40%. That increased my monthly income by over $1000. Wow! God is good!

There were many more good things in 2007. The joy I got by giving special presents to people who never expected them. And the blessings that God bestowed upon me all year.

I know 2008 will be a better year than 2007!

May God richly bless you in the coming year!

Now, it's your turn.....What did God do for you???

Saturday, February 14, 2009

It can only happen at Wal-Mart

Saw this online and thought it was funny enough to share....

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at WalMart for my 4 dogs...

I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think... that I had an elephant?!?!

Since I had little else to do; on impulse, I told her no I didn't have a dog, that I was starting the Purina diet again; although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat 1 or 2 every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me? I told her no, I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!!

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road