Saturday, December 27, 2014

A Christian saying the Lord's Prayer

Rather cleverly done.
 This is in two parts,
the prayer (in blue type) and
GOD (in red type)
in response.
It is very, very good.
Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am.
What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name . .
Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?

By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means . . good grief,I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense.
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control, of everything down here like you have up there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend your money --
all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read?
Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!
Excuse ME.
I thought you were praying for my will to be done.
If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example.
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention  it, I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Now we're getting somewhere.We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying.  ( . pause . . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it.
Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness
and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right. You always are.
And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You . . (sigh). All right all right . . I forgive her.
There now!
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer are you? Go on.
Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory  forever.
Do you know what would bring me glory --
What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now.
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly follow you.
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU just did.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

We're OUT of Toilet Paper AGAIN!!!!!


Sarah Rebecca Sunkel hollers (Yes HOLLERED) at her husband Martin Bradley Sunkel earlier this evening about leaving the Toilet Paper Roll empty.

Now ANYONE who knows Sarah KNOWS she ALWAYS leaves an empty tube on the holder.

Martin has a classic comeback by saying "You are hollering at me about leaving the roll empty?

There is AT LEAST 1 SQUARE on there therefore it IS NOT empty!

I nearly choked on my Pizza laughing!

Sarah said, sometimes I hate you so bad!

Ahhhhhh the joys of Marriage!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Microwave BURNS the Popcorn

I come home last night and my Nephew Brandon is going to pop some microwave popcorn in my Microwave.  His Sister, Yes MY NIECE, Sarah Rebecca Adams Sunkel proceeds to tell him that he has to stop the microwave 30 seconds before or the microwave will BURN the popcorn to which I say IS NOT TRUE and the argument begins!

Anyone who truly knows me KNOWS that I research Kitchen Appliances to get the very best.  I've been popping popcorn in my microwave for years using the POPCORN BUTTON and NOT ONCE has a SINGLE KERNEL EVER BURNED!

So, today I'm telling Sarah to TRUST my Microwave and she says NO!  She does her usual stopping the microwave 30 seconds early thus leaving MANY UNPOPPED KERNELS in the bag.

5 minutes later, I grab a bag, put it in the microwave, press the POPCORN BUTTON and proceed to tell her that I am going to PROVE HER WRONG!  She said, WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE! and goes to her room with her NOT FULLY POPPED POPCORN.

When the POPCORN CYCLE ENDS with the BEEEEEP - I go get my Bag of Popcorn, grab a bowl and go into her room, OPEN THE BAG in front of her and CHALLENGE HER to FIND JUST ONE BURNT KERNEL!



I submit PROOF in the following picture!

Life Goes On Here On Courthouse Road!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

The CAR of your DOOR

So, I let my Niece, Sarah borrow my car AGAIN to go to Virginia Beach.  Now in her car, she has the seat all jacked up so that only SHE can drive it.  She gets in MY CAR and puts the seat in a TOTALLY different and even more JACKED UP position!  How she drives is simply amazing!  It always takes me about 1 hour to get my seat CLOSE to where I had it BEFORE she borrowed it.

And ALWAYS, I give her CRAP about JACKING UP MY SEAT!  She says SHE CAN'T DRIVE with the SEAT IN THAT POSITION!  Which PROVES she can't drive a car with the seats in a TIME TESTED 60/40 position! 

She also has the MIRRORS looking down the SIDES OF THE CAR instead of where the INSURANCE COMPANY says they should be which is in line with the OUTSIDE LANES of the HIGHWAY!  Again, HOW she drives is amazing and Her Dad and I have proven time and time again that she is completely UNAWARE of ANYONE beside her because SHE CANNOT SEE THEM no matter what she says!  We've actually rode beside her for over 1 mile before and she denied we were there! 

Anyway, She proceeds to tell me today that she HATES my Car because the CAR OF YOUR DOOR bruised my face!  She said it THREE TIMES that way!

You CANNOT make up stuff like this!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road!

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Bad Memory

This morning at about 8:00am I told my Niece Sarah that we were hosting CARITAS at our Church starting today.

For those that don't know, CARITAS stands for:  Churches Around Richmond In Togetherness Assuring Shelter.

Anyway, Sarah swore that I never told her about it.  I did tell her on more than one occasion.  She told me to remind her when it got closer.  Now, I will admit that I failed to remind her when it got closer.

Less than 1 hour later, Sarah tells me we're having Spaghetti for dinner tonight.  I said, "I'm eating at Church."

She said, Oh?  What are you doing at church?

I said CARITAS! 

I have been VINDICATED!

Life goes on here on Courthouse Road!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Is it Hiccups or HicDammit?

This Evening I'm sitting in the Living Room watching my Cartoons.  Suddenly I hear the following Coming from Sarah's Room:






This goes on for at least 10 Minutes.  Makes one wonder if Hiccup has been wrong all these years?

Life Goes On Here On Courthouse Road!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Do YOU do your OWN TAXES?

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